Ethical Business Builder’s Weblog

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Archive for the 'Business Psychology' Category


The basics of NLP for your business

Posted by ethicalbusinessbuilder on July 26, 2008

One item that I’m constantly trying to teach to my team is the importance and constant application of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). My simple definition for NLP is “Communicating in a specific way to maximize your chances of getting the desired response.” Ok, so what the heck does that mean??? Well it’s probably easier to illustrate with a few examples than with a detailed explanation…

NLP encompasses 3 Main things:

  1. What you say. (I.e. word choice)
  2. How you say it. (I.e tone)
  3. Your body language and facial expressions while saying it. (I.e. posture, eye-contact, etc.)

The first NLP lesson is talking in a manner that puts the other person first and makes it easy for them to deal with you. A few examples:
“I’ve included a quote…” vs. “The quote you requested” or “Your quote is included…”

If you’re always starting your sentences in emails, proposals, or conversations with I, I, I – then chances are you aren’t being heard as much as you’d like to think.

“We won’t be able to get there until Monday, will that be OK?” vs “Great, it looks like we have an opening for you on Monday. Does that work for you?”

In the first scenario the tone and wording implies that “we understand you need us today but the best we can do is Monday.” The second implies “wow, we have an opening right away on Monday just for you, isn’t that great?” If you present the opening on Monday as a negative through your tone and word choice you’re much more likely to get a negative response than if you present it positively. (Even if not getting there till Monday isn’t top-notch service you don’t have to act that way if that’s the best you can do right now.)

Here’s another simple example when communicating with people:
“Do you understand?” vs. “Does that make sense?”

“Do you understand” means “Are you smart enough to understand what I just told you?” Whereas “Does that make sense” means “Did I explain that clearly enough that it is simple to understand?” Do you see the difference in the second wording the pressure is on you to explain it clearly instead of on the other person to understand it clearly.

Another one of my favorite questions to ask irate customers, disgruntled employees, or upset girlfriends after proposing some sort of solution:
“Does that sound reasonable?”
Even though (using effective NLP techniques) you’ve just led them to exactly the solution you want, by offering them the chance to accept that it’s reasonable they feel in control of the situation.

One of the best ways to diffuse a difficult situation is to ask a question. Since we’re just reviewing the basics, let me keep the explanation as simple as possible. In essence, asking a question shifts the thought patterns of the person to whom you’ve posed the question so they aren’t singularly focusing on the object of their dissatisfaction. It’s a bit more complicated then that so trust me on this one.
By asking a question that requires a bit of thought you’re shifting the persons brain pattern from the left to the right hemisphere of the brain where emotions are stored and you will INSTANTLY see a difference in the person’s response (if you ask the right question).

So how do I teach my team about these things. Well first off you introduce them to the concept and explain the basics above. Then you work with them to apply these concepts in all of your scripts. You also help them plan out their conversations before ever picking up a phone to ensure the best response. It takes weeks or months of positive reinforcement for someone to really start applying it, however once they do, it’s amazing how excited they get.

Keep in mind that learning NLP is something that can help someone not only at work, but also in their personal life. If you’re able to help someone indirectly communicate better with their spouse, children, or friends imagine how much more they’ll enjoy working with you? Remember that a great leader should be able to lead so well that his teammates would be willing to pay to learn from them!

To your success, Bryan

Posted in Business Psychology, Leadership, Team Building | Tagged: , , , | No Comments »

Your furniture is talking, but do you know what it’s saying?

Posted by ethicalbusinessbuilder on July 6, 2008

A seldom discussed topic in the business world is one called “Proximity.” Dave Yoho introduced me to the term in Chicago a few years back. Amazingly studies have show that when you’re performing a sales presentation in someone’s home you get a better response when you sit to the right of the homeowner. It’s theorized that because you’re closer in proximity to the right-brain of the person deciding to buy something, you’re more likely to effect an emotional decision.

Proximity teaches us that the most effective way to arrange a classroom or training event is with a “U-shaped” layout where the presenter is in the middle with the open end behind him. Everyone is relatively equidistant to the instructor and can openly communicate with him and each other. How many classrooms have you seen arranged in that manner?

Proximity also teaches us that when selling, you never put a table between yourself and a prospect. The psychological repercussions of that are “you’re on that side and I’m on this side” - that’s both literally and figuratively. So if you’re at a trade show trying to gather leads for your business, the worst thing you can do is put a table between yourself and the aisle. When you’re meeting with a team member, placing a desk between you and the team member again implies that we’re on different sides. For that reason, I recently reorganized my office to get the desk out of the middle of the floor separating me from everyone else. My L-shaped desk is in the corner opposite the doorway with each side up against a wall which means my back is basically facing the door. There is nothing else between the door, the 2 office chairs and me. With a simple swivel of my chair we’re all sitting face-to-face and working together.

You would be amazed when you put these things into action and explain to your team why you’re doing them at how positively they respond. Far too few “employees” ever work with a “manager” who puts so much effort into every detail. Remember the study in In Search of Excellence: Lessons from America’s Best-Run Companies that demonstrated that when your team members see you putting forth effort for them, it doesn’t even matter what you do, productivity will increase just because you took an interest?

This really doesn’t take a lot of work, thought, or effort so why wouldn’t you consider implementing the laws of proximity into your next sales presentation, training seminar, or office?

To your success, Bryan

Posted in Business Psychology, General Business, Team Building | Tagged: , , , | No Comments »

The 3 pieces to becoming successful at ANYTHING… (seriously)

Posted by ethicalbusinessbuilder on February 9, 2008

I know, that sounds ridiculous… But take a few minutes, learn the basic concepts, and if you haven’t heard this before, you’ll be amazed at the clarity this can bring to almost anything you do in life. I find myself teaching this lesson to more of my friends and family than probably anything else I’ve EVER learned so LEARN IT!

Here’s the basic formula:

Do x Be = Have

Now I originally learned this formula through Brad Sugar’s Entrepreneur Masters Class however I’m pretty sure he got it from someone else… If you know who originally came up with this, let me know.

The unique thing about this formula is you have to start on the right and work left - the opposite of how you normally read - to make it work.

Have

Make a list of what you want to Have in life, at your job, at school, in your mate, etc. etc. etc.

How much money? What kind of house(s)? Any boats or nice cars? Family? What will your job be like? How often will you vacation and where? You get the idea. WRITE DOWN what you want to Have in your life.

Writing this down is essential. A few years back I recall reading about a survey that was conducted on Harvard business graduates at their 20 year anniversary. They asked the graduates, who had written down their goals when they graduated from school - 3% had written goals and 97% did not. They then found out that the 3% who had specific written goals had amassed more wealth than the other 97% combined. And it wasn’t like those 97% were slackers. They were all Harvard graduates so they had to have at least a little talent. Honestly I read so much I can’t recall where I learned this story, so if you know, please let me know. :-)

Be

Now, look around you and determine who has what you want to Have. What kind of job do they have? Do they have their own business? Do they have a college degree? What kind of degree? How many hours per week do they work? What do they attribute to their success?

Now you have to figure out who you have to Be to get what you want to Have. In other words, if you love children and want to be a teacher, but your list also includes a summer home in the Outer Banks, can Being a teacher allow you to Have that house? If there are any other teachers who have vacation homes down there, learn what else they had to Become (besides a teacher) to afford it.

This is the most often overlooked step. Everyone knows what they want to Have and think they know what they have to Do to get there. But they never figure out who they have to Be. Without Being the person who can Have what you want, NO amount of Doing will get you there. More than likely, you’ll just be Doing the wrong things.

If you have no idea who you have to Be to become a millionaire, check out The Millionaire Mindby Thomas Stanley. It’s a book based on lengthy surveys filled out by over 1300 millionaires. If you want to learn what kind of people Become millionaires, this is the book for you.

Do

The last piece to our equation is figuring out what you have to Do to be who you need to Be.

Where do you need to go to school? (if at all) Who do you need to associate with? Where do you need to live? When do you need to start planning or saving?

What do you need to Do, to become who you need to Be, to get what you want to Have.

Keep in mind that if you make a list of want you want to Have in a spouse, you better figure out who you need to Be so that when you meet that person you’ve already done what you need to Do to hit it off with them. Think about it. That makes sense, right? You better be a perfect person yourself if your list describes the perfect person. hahaha

In my life, this became very clear to me almost immediately after learning it. I went to a top 10 engineering school and became a mechanical engineer because I love cars, motorcycles, and engineering in general. However, I also want an island. A nice little private island with a place to land a plane and helicopter. Maybe a 9 hole golf course and a nice comfortable villa to relax in. After looking around at all the engineers I knew, it became very apparent that Being an engineer was not going to get me what I wanted to Have. Being a successful business man will, however. Not only will it allow me to engineer new designs for automotive and motorcycle applications at my leisure, it will also allow me the possibility of an island. Something being an engineer alone could never do.

Are you doing what you need to Do, to become who you need to Be, to enjoy what you want to Have?

To your success, Bryan

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